An Attempt to Stop Overpopulation?

Greetings, pholks! Ya, I know, it's been a few months. But hey, I just hit a few bumps in the road, so excuse the hell out of me! I had shit to do, dammit! Now, I'm sure all three of you were very sad when I did not post, so here I am now! I'm here to discuss something which I believe was invented by the goverment to prevent overpopulation. This device was under the guise of a child's toy and that toy was known as the Yo-Yo Ball.


Now, lemme let you in on a secret; I suck at playing with yo-yos. Okay, I suck at a lot of things, but yo-yos are pretty high up there! However, Yo-Yo Balls appealed to me because of their function; no matter what, a little mechanism always makes the ball retract. That way, a hopeless moron such as yourself can look like a genius with a yo-yo! Ain't that sweet? Well, here's the catch... I don't know the most tasteful way to put this, but it hits your crotch. Real hard.

That's right. Since gravity still pulls it down to your feet and when it retracts, guess where it hits? Yes, your boys. It's Murphy's Law. Everytime I used the Yo-Yo Ball Crusher, I got hit again and again and again. You see, when your walnuts have been hit enough times, you'll eventually lose their ability to operate. Non-functioning balls means no babehs for you and no babehs means the world's numbers will be reduced. Therefore, overpopulation will cease. Not on my watch! There are less drastic ways to do this!

Or maybe it's just their way of speeding along natural selection by weeding out the people dumb enough to play with this toy again and again... *shifts eyes* YOU WON'T WIN THIS TIME, NATURAL SELECTION! NOT TODAY! Or maybe they just thought it would be funny. But either way, it's a conspiracy!
So, there you have it. I made good use of my two months by making a testicle joke. But hey, my muse is down! Down, I tell ya! But worry not; I swear to all two of you that my muse will be up soon. I just had to give you a little something in the mean time to let you know I was still alive. I just gotta get more booze. Later days!Gotta get my muse on!