I Have a Big Topic!

Mr. Cheese here! Today I shall be talking a great subject of unequaled mass and discussions! My friends, I shall be discussing everyone's favorite punching bag of a song, a teen singer who makes more blood boil than Justin Bieber and Twilight put together! That's right; Rebecca Black's Friday! Hunker down and get a snack, for this is going to be a long one!

... It wasn't that good. Okay, moving on!

Now, gotta find a subject for the rest of the post... oh yeah! How about I discuss an anime series for the first time? Now, a lot of people think I'm an anime nut, but truth be told, I'm not; it's due to the fact that I'm a manga nut and often people may think I'm referring to the manga's respective anime adaptation or they just muddle the two together and correcting them on that compounds their argument further. But seriously, I mostly watch American cartoons. If I'm going to be a geek, I'm going to be a patriotic one!

What series shall I talk about today? Well, one called Burst Angel, of course! Don't worry about spoilers, I only watched 2 episodes out of 24. Now, what made me interested in the series was the intro and the super-catchy theme song. Then I did a Wikipedia search and discovered that the series was about a mercenary group of scantily clad women in the near future of Japan, where it is now legal for civilians to own guns (in Japan, it isn't). Also, the main character has a mecha. Decent premise, huh? Sure, the characters dressed like skanks, but I don't blush at the sight of a navel, so I gave it a shot! Lucky for me, the company that dubs it, Funimation, puts it on Youtube for free.
So, I watched 2 episodes and it sucks. But you probably want me to tell you WHY it sucks, don't you? Well, it all stems from one problem, but it's a huge problem; the main characters are all unlikeable. If a protagonist is unlikeable, a story won't exactly work, y'know? I have to follow this person on their adventures, cheer them on when they are victorious and be sad when they call, not look for a way off the trail, cry when they are victorious and cheer when they fall.

You see, in the two episodes I watched, Kyohei, a college student and aspiring chef is hired by Sei, the "big sister" of the mercenary group to be their chef. When he follows her, he is instantly treated to verbal abuse by one of the mercenaries, Meg, for no apparent reason. Sei does nothing to stop it and Kyohei takes it like a bitch. This series really knows how to make such loveable characters, doesn't it? Anyways, Kyohei is told to GTFO while they contemplate hiring him, but he is kidnapped by their enemies! It is then we are introduced to the champion of bitches, Jo, a girl who's good with guns and has a mecha. She and Meg go to fight the enemies, and rescue Kyohei from them as sort of a side-thing. Meg unties him, but gets kidnapped herself. It is then that Jo sets off to rescue her, towing the unwilling Kyohei in the process. 'Cause, y'know, dragging along an untrained and unarmed co-ed to a fight is a brilliant idea! Her reason? "Meg got kidnapped trying to save your sorry ass. You can at least be a man and try to return the favor." Uh, hello, you guys are the reason he was kidnapped on the first place. All you were doing was cleaning up your own mess, you stupid bimbo.


So, she threatens to kill him if he runs away and barrages him with insults. Y'know, it is possible for a woman to be strong and nice, writers! It doesn't have to be one or the other, y'know? So, in short, they rescue Meg and Kyohei leaves, but not without cooking a meal and leaving an apology note. Yeah, sorry for getting kidnapped by the enemies who captured me because of your doing. Of course, he comes back, but I stopped watching before then. I gave the series two chances and it failed me. Sadly, I don't believe in third chances.

Now, I have established that the girls are no-good bullies who verbally abuse people they wish to ally with them. I'm not saying that all charactes have to be goodie-goodies; it's possible for a character who's an asshole king to be likeable! Just take a look at House, Eric Cartman or Beavis and Butt-Head! Hell, I myself write some asshole characters!
So, how does one make these types of characters likeable? I can't quite answer, but the first thing usually is redeeming factors. Remember, they're just as important as flaws. But then again, there are characters that have no redeeming factors aside from what they DON'T do, but they're still likeable. One of my speculations is that it's the people around them and how the feel; if they call them out on their bullshit, butt heads with them or generally dislike them, then the assholes feel more human and thus, more likeable. No one ever called the girls of Burst Angel out on their verbal abuse or bullying.

Another speculation of mine is that a likeable character is one that you could be friends with; we all have or had that friend who's an asshole, but we love him anyways because he's fun to talk to. But if he's an asshole and not amusing, we dislike him. Or perhaps it's that we see a bit of ourselves in a well-written asshole. Or maybe they're just fun to watch! Again, I assure you the girls of Burst Angel were not fun; they just gave me strong, violent urges.A bit like this.



Now that we have established the bullies of Burst Angel, don't think I'll let Kyohei the cook get away, oh no! You ever meet someone who is such a pathetic pussy that you stop feeling sorry for them and end up getting mad at them because of their patheticness? Yeah, Kyohei is that guy. Despite the verbal abuse, he did not once stand up for himself. Despite being pulled into a martial situation he was in no way responsible for, he did not once protest. And after all the girls did to him, he cooked for him and APOLOGIZED to them. Seriously. Then, he joins them again. Stockholm syndrome much?


I know when you need a job, you have to bite your tongue and take some abuse. Trust me, I'm not that naive. But surely there is an "enough is enough" point, right? I mean, if your bosses insult you repeatedly, bully you, threaten you with violence and allow you to get kidnapped before your first day was even official, then it'd probably be time to find a new job. It's not like he was desperate, either; he just wanted to go to Paris and train as a chef.


So yeah, I get pissed that this guy doesn't even protest and takes it. Because of his meekness, Jo and Meg are allowed to trample all over him. Perhaps I'm mad because this, I can assume, is the character that we, as anime nerds, are supposed to relate to. But shit, even I would have left when the insults began and said, "Sorry, I didn't realize we were still in high school." Even we nerds have our limits. So yeah, I may view it as an insult to me. Yes, we do SO have standards, shut up.

And like the asshole character, the wimp can be pulled off too. My best example when be a character called "Rock" from the series Black Lagoon. Like Kyohei, he is a wimpy Japanese man caught into a martial profession (in his case, it's modern pirates and smugglers) with a crazy gunslinger girl.


The difference? Rock stands up for himself! Utilizing his clever usage of words and cunning mind, he manages to even best his crazy gunslinging partner in arguments and, while he does take some shit, he has his limits. HE is a far more compelling character! He could even be a badass at times.


So, aside from the protagonists, Burst Angel was nothing really special. Animation was good. Premise was okay. Story was okay. Other characters were okay, but by-the-numbers. Character DESIGN kinda sucked, what with the outfits being something not even a stripper would wear in public, but hey, it's anime. All-in-all, it was just kind of bland and the characters were the only real offensive thing about it. But it did have a catchy theme song!

So, there you have it. One big reason was enough to make me hate a whole series. Maybe it got better as the episodes progressed, I dunno, but life is too short to find out. But remember what I said about compelling assholes! For I am a blogger and therefore, I am right. Have a good school year!