From Gold to Shit

Salutations, my loyal readers! It's been two months since I last spoke, but I have a good excuse; what with finals eating up my time, I hadn't a lot of time to write in my blog. After all, I had some important Samurai Jack to watch! Not to mention, with the pressumed end of the world on the 21st, I was spending some time doing whatever the hell I wanted, thinking I wouldn't have to live up to my actions. Sadly, the world didn't end and I'm facing charges (if I'm caught) for all the things I set on fire.


So, now that summer is here, I can do what I do best; rant about pointless shit! Hey, like your hobby is any better? You're the one reading the ravings of a reclusive manchild during your summer, so I don't wanna hear it!

Allow me to tell you a sad little story. This is the story of a great artist of manga named Nobuhiro Watsuki, and his sudden dive in his work. A dive he has yet to recover from. Now, lemme me inform you of a work of his, a 28 volume series that takes place in the 19th century of Japan called Rurouni Kenshin. I won't go into much detail, but the series was great; it was epic, well-written and had many great moral themes. It had its flaws, for sure, but what doesn't?

After that series came to a close, is there any better way to follow-up then by shitting all over your own talent? This here is about his short-lived Western series, Gun Blaze West. The story is about a little bastard named Viu Bannes, taking place in America during, when else, 1880. He's striving to find the titular location of Gun Blaze West, which is supposed to... Actually, I have no fucking clue, it's never clearly explained. But his reason for it is to "get stronger and see how strong he can become." Ooooh, how original! Just like every OTHER FUCKING MANGA CHARACTER!


And speaking of unorginality, let's get to the biggest problem of the series (which is saying something); the protagonist. Now, Watsuki created a fairly interesting cast, ranging from a hulking armored man with a jetpack and a big black guy who can catch bullets to a Civil War cyborg. Why, in God's name, would you make your protagonist a dime-a-dozen, spiky-haired, happy-go-lucky-and-more-than-he-seems teenager? Just look at this guy!


You know what I said about Goku from Dragon Ball? Forget it. Goku has NOTHING on Viu Bannes. I mean, at least Goku had some unique features about him! This guy... what does he have that sets him apart? If you read as much manga as I do, you'll see nothing original in this character. Also, despite the fact that he has a gun that fires actual bullets, he doesn't kill. God, what is with manga artists and making characters with a no-kill policy wield lethal weapons? I mean, MacGyver doesn't wield a gun. Batman doesn't carry one either. Know why? 'Cause guns are fuckin' lethal! GAAAH!

Apparently, this character was created because Watsuki believed making the main character of Rurouni Kenshin in his late 20s was a mistake and he wanted to do a typical shonen protagonist. WHAT?! Dude, I don't care of the main character is 100! If he's likeable and behaves realistically and has a personality, then I'll have no trouble with him as a protagonist. I mean, if you can make the reader relate to a character who's nothing like them, then that's a sign of good writing. A 28 year old ex-assassin is more relatable than a soulless 14 year old with a revolver.

And the other part about this is the story. Motiviations don't and inconsistencies all around. What exactly Gun Blaze West is is never truly explained. Viu is told by one man that it's a violent place where only the most brutal and evil people survive. One volume later, a sadistic Civil War cyborg is told that someone who revels in violence has no place in Gun Blaze West, despite the fact that the people who wished to enter GBW had to fight their way to it.
Other nitpicky things include when the Civil War cyborg was defeated and he is told that "He was superhuman in name only." Uh, no he wasn't. Superhumans are humans taht surpass average human attributes. I don't know to many people who can shoot fucking grenades and flames out of their hands like the cyborg. Do you?
Oh and when a character was hitting on a 19 year old girl (yes, in the century where marrying a 16 year old was a-okay), he was accused of having a Lolita complex... The guy who accused him of that was obviously a time traveler, for Lolita was a written in the 1950s.

So, not much else I can say about the series other than the flat artwork; it got canceled after 3 volumes and only made it to the States because of the popularity of Rurouni Kenshin. The sad thing is the Watsuki talks about Rurouni Kenshin as if he's ashamed of it. What happend, Watsuki? You used to write great stories and that was mostly 'cause you took risks! This series took almost no risks and that was the biggest problem of all! Did you suffer a tremendous blow to the head or something?

Also what's really sad is that Watsuki went on to write an arguebly worse series than this called Buso Renkin (a subject for another time, perhaps) and then a nothing-special series called Embalming. All I have to ask is this: What happened?

Thus concludes our sad little story of a genius falling. I hope you all have a great summer! If you'll excuse me, I have to cry myself to sleep.

Electronic Stretch Screamers

Greetings! It has been awhile since I wrote about a toy and since I'm in the mood, I feel that I'll talk about a toy that I had little time be with, but it left a big impact on me for all the wrong reasons. These are the Electronic Stretch Screamers. I could not find a picture of all four of the original together because blah. For those not in the know (don't blame you), these toys were foot long monster figures made of plastic, rubber and, well, electronics. The original forms were a Frankenstein monster, a ghoul with the screamer face, a werewolf and a mummy. When stretched or twisted in different ways, these toys would scream, threaten and wail in pain, because torturing things because they're different is fun :) Above: The target demographic for these toys.

Also noteably is the presence of plastic bubbles full of colorful swirly goo in their heads. When squeezed, they would come out of an some hole. For the ghoul, it came out of the mouth. For the Frankenstein monster, out the top of the head. For werewolf, the cheek and for the mummy, an empty eyesocket. So not only would you be contorting their bodies in inhumane ways, but you'd be squeezing their organs out. Now, my expirience with one. Naturally, I bought the ghoul because ghouls rock. My mom would tell me to turn off in public because the thing was noisy as hell. My expirience with the toy was less than 24 hours. Why? Well, someone should tell toymakers that boys toys need to be durable, 'cause we're all a bunch of morons who can't control outrselves. Plastic bubbles aren't durable.

So, one day, I stretched and stretched the bubble, tempting my fate with every cranial squeeze...

And then... Yes, the fucking thing exploded, covering me in red goo. After that, playing with the toy wasn't so amusing. Therefore, I spent about 20 dollars on a gooey explosion. Above: Another victim of the Electronic Stretch Screamers. He still remembers.

That's all! Remember, parents; don't let your child buy exploding toys.

Kitchen Princess

Long time no see! I'm going to cut to the chase right now and discuss a manga series known as Kitchen Princess by Miyuka Kobayashi. It is a shojo or girl's manga series following the culinary adventures the orphaned Najika Kazami.
First, I'd like to say that I am a very open-minded person when it comes to what's marketed at who and I won't let my sex decide what entertains me. I've enjoyed the occassional romance and chick flick, is all I'm saying. Granted, while I will lean more towards Chuck Norris vs. Cyborg Hitler mounted on an Undead Bear, a manga about cooking sounded interesting to me. And y'know what? I WAS WRONG! So, as you can see, I think that the series blows. Let's dive right into the art first...


Y'see? See what I just did? I just showed you what every single character looks like! It goes without saying that character design is lousy, as all characters of the same age group and sex have the exact same face and none of them have distinct features. That makes it really hard to keep track of who's who, especially if the characters change hairstyles and clothing.

The style is standard manga, with nothing distinct about it. Not much else to say about the art, but those are two big issues! The characters all look the same and the art has no personal touch. But what's good about the art? It's, urhm, clean?

Now onto my favorite part; the writing. The writing would make it hard for even Nicholas Sparks to keep his lunch down. It's overloaded with sentimentality to the point of exploding with a heavy helping of stupid and just a wee hint of sexism.

Let's start with the least problematic, the sexism. Before we start, I'd like to state that I by no means suffer from MGS (Male Guilt Syndrome) and I will be very slow to call something sexist. Perhaps sexism would be too strong of a word, but still... The main character, Najika, wants to perfect her cooking skills. Why? To impress a boy (now a young man) who gave her some flan she really like. And one of two of the boys she meets at her new school MAY be the "Flan Prince," so love interest!

Basically, her entire life, her ambitions and her dreams all revolve around a man. She doesn't wanna become a cook just for the sake of being one, because everyone knows women can't get motiviated unless there's a man on the line! Perhaps I am exaggerating and there's nothing wrong with a girl wanting a boyfriend, but still... If that's her life, I'm leaning towards sexism. Chef Ramsay, she ain't.
Finally, the sentimentality and the stupid. First, look above for what I called the love interest. The "Flan Prince." That term is used frequently by Najika and each time it's spoken, a golden heart turns to steel. It is so stupid, my rolling eyes have enough power to pull a train.
Above: Who the Flan Prince grew up to be.

And since it's about cooking, it's going to be a lot about Najika making people happy. One little arc revolves around the mean girl (who, along with her group of indentical friends, picked on Najika for no apparent reason) gets a bad case of the binge and purge, and now she can't keep anything down! Najika deduces that the only way to get her to eat something is with an exact replication of the mean girl's late grandmother's peach pie! And it works! *blarf* Okay, I use the term "Grandma's apple pie" frequently to describe something overly sentimental. And this arc only changed the fruit!

If the above arc isn't enough to convince you that it's overloaded with sentimental bullshit, then you'll enjoy the series! It's as high as I can go and nothing I say can convince you. And, the first bit of stupid I was hit with in the series was when Najika descirbes her orphanage, say it's a place for "orphans without parents." Y'know, as opposed to orphans WITH parents. It could just be the translater, but still, I'm shocked for it not convincing me to turn back.

Also, the characters aren't that great either. Najika is your typical kind-hearted and somewhat clutzy shojo protagonist, the two love interests are your typical shojo love interests and the mean girl... well, she does go through changes, but that's not enough to keep me interested! The writings bad, the art is severly lacking and I can barely keep my lunch down.

On a positive note, the author of this piece knew nothing of cooking before she began writing. However, she thought of some rather creative and convincing recipes throughout the book and if she hadn't told the reader, I woulda guessed she was a chef before taking on a manga career.

Other than that, it blows. I managed to satisfy my need for a cooking manga by reading a shonen or boy's manga about it... one with superhumans and giant beasts!

It's called Toriko. It ain't perfect, but I can keep my lunch down while reading it. It won't decieve me with its cuteness.

Justin Bieber!

Justin Bieber... That name should ring a bell in this day and age for anyone; President to prostitute and me to your Grandma. Even if you have no idea who he is, you likely heard his name somewhere.

Its been quite a while since I last posted, huh? Well, I've been busy, what with college and all and I've been a lazy SOB too. Ah well, who exactly is waiting for the next post? But, the show must go on, dammit!

Anyways, Justin Bieber; judging by my age and gender, you'll probably assume I'm not a fan of his, therefore, I hate him, correct? WAIT! Before you stop reading, assuming I'm just another angsty Bieber-hater, hear me out; I don't hate him. *duh duh DUUUUUH!* As in, don't get me wrong, I can't stand his music; I find it dull, annoying and sometimes repetitive. But is that any reason to hate the person? No, not really. He could be the nicest guy in the world, for all I know. To me, he's just a guy doing what he loves and getting paid for it.

In this era of Twilight, Jonas Brothers and Bieber, the crowd that makes them popular outnumbers the rest of us greatly. My best guess is that people feel threatened by the numbers and feel the need to fight back against the odds. What's the best way to take away the enemy's morale? Kill their god (or write mean things about them on the internet), of course!

Purge the Bieber!

Therefore, you have people making fun of Bieber for his obscenely high voice and his inability to hit puberty!

My point being is that people will hate what's popular, for good reasons or not. Why? Because they don't want to be sheep, and that's great! I, for instanced, hated Hilary Duff. Why? Well, I just did. I ran into a crowd of people who did and I wanted to be "cool" like them, so I did. I didn't know why I hated her, I just did. In a way, I was still being a sheep; just one of a different color. When you hate things just BECAUSE they're popular or actually have an unreasonable hatred for someone, then that's when you become that type of sheep.

And not one as badass as the one above.

What I'm saying is that you should only hate Bieber's music. Don't hate him unless he did something really shitty (he may or may not have, I just have my head up my ass when it comes to pop culture). You're not impressing or shocking anyone by saying "Justin Bieber sounds like a little girl on helium!" And for the mindless fans; remember to respect differing opinions and don't be too much of a sheep.

This little rant was buzzing around in my head for two reasons...

1. I'm so damn sick of Justin Bieber jokes! And again, I'm not offended, but I'm just tired of hearing them from people who think they're being witty. They were funny the first time, but they're getting old and fast! Can't you think of something new?

They seemed to have taken to the place of Michael Jackson (rest his soul) jokes. Every two-bit chump has made, like, 20 of them (usually involving his voice), 'cause they're just too damn easy. Listen, you're not being witty and you don't sound educated. You're just making jokes about the new international punchline.

2. Really, what's the point? I know I said earlier that his music was annoying, but I'm not the target audience. I mean, it's like if I started hating teddy bears because I don't enjoy playing with them. It would be creepy if I DID! Therefore, I shan't complain of something not even aimed at me.

3. I once heard this rant coming from a person who was also not a fan of Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers or Miley Cyrus, comparing people who go on endless tears about them to 3rd graders bragging about how they're going to kill Barney because they believe it makes them sound grown-up. What are the odds? I was one of those in 2nd grade!

Come to think of it... Justin Bieber and Barney the Dinosaur aren't too different, are they? Both are popular, have annoying voices, sing horrible songs, but they're both kinda harmless.

How can you hate that face? Huh?! How can you?! I LOVE YOU, BARNEY! *cough* I mean, fuck the system! RAWR!

Anyways, my final point is that sheepishness swings both ways. I chose Bieber as the topic because he's one of the most popular and I've heard countless people squeeing about his hottness and others calling for his crucifixion. Remember; don't hate people without a good reason, don't go to the extremes of either side and don't be a sheep of ANY kind. Have a nice day!

And Justin Bieber, if you happen to be reading this, I've got three things to say to you...
1. Are you that bored? Out of all the posts and comments about you, how did you come across here? Do you google your name constantly?
2. I was kinda kidding with the insults. I don't enjoy your music, but hey, I'm not the target audience.
3. Seriously, how bored you?

P.S. Also, don't make fun of people for the way they look (Robert Pattinson is ugly! Justin Bieber is girly!); when you do that, you're being just as fucking shallow everyone else.

But would it kill him to use a little shampoo?

Dragon Ball Z (part 2)

Aaaand we're back! My apologies for taking so long, but now we'll get back to the original topic! What was I talking about? Oh yes, reasons why I don't like DBZ! Remember, I have plenty of *SPOILERS* so if you want to read DBZ, don't read this. Without any more delay...

No Point in Having a Group: Now as I've stated in the previous post, Goku and Gohan are more powerful than their allies, despite the fact that they had the exact same amount of training, due to the fact that Goku was born under the right star and Gohan was born in the right womb. Naturally, they win 99% of the battles in the series.
I ask you, what's the point of having so many allies, such as Krillin, Yamcha, and Vegeta, if they aren't going to that much use, except to provide cannon fodder? Now in my opinion, when you have a group of heroes, they should all provide an important purpose within the group, in a similar way to the protagonist or with an ability that he or she lacks.

I understand that as a protagonist, Goku has to get the most glory. Believe me, I do. But why can't any of the other characters get their moment of glory? Why can't they have any other use besides showing how awesome Goku is? As in, at least with Dragon Ball, it sort of started off as having team members be useful; Bulma and her gadgets often aided the group, and then you had Oolong the pig, who could transform. Basically, it was a basic group of brawn, brain and unique abilities...
But, as you know, brains have no place in Dragon Ball Z!


Time Skips: Throughout the plot of Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z, we see our characters grow older, going from, usually starting as young teenagers or young adults and going all the way up to being middle aged. Time skips are, as you can guess, used to skip over long periods of time between the aging and time periods between the arcs of the story. While I appreciate the fact that Toriyama for getting straight to the point, this does present one problem...

Lack of character developement! Characters will suddenly change, new characters will be introduced, marriage occurs, kids are had, and we're not shown any of it! I mean, how cheap is it to take two characters who initially hate each other, like, let's say, Vegeta and Bulma, and then TIME SKIP! They're now married and have a kid.

Or, how about, let's say, Goku dies AGAIN, and TIME SKIP! Chi-Chi now has a 7 year-old son named Goten with no foreshadowing or hints whatsoever.

Sounds stupid, right? Well, my good friend, those actually happened. One idiot I met tried to justify it by saying it's funnier that way; well, it's NOT funny! I got my smartiness insulted!




Brawn > Brains: Another flaw with DBZ; fights are not only repedative, but often in fights, only the ones who are the most powerful in brute strength will win. In Dragon Ball, this wasn't an issue, as Goku and others would have to use strategy and clever tactics in order to defeat their foes. However, in DBZ, equippment, where you fight and strategy matter not; all that matters is who is stronger and faster.
And as anyone can tell you, the humans biggest advantage is his BRAIN. Even in senseless action movies, the protagonist has to use his head. Not here, though.

Where's the fantasy?: This problem is rather small, but here's the thing; Dragon Ball was, for the most part, mythical. It had demons, dragons, shapeshifters and Goku's origins were a mystery. However, come Dragon Ball Z, all the magic was replaced with science; both Goku and his last antagonist, Demon King Piccolo were revealed to actually be aliens. Don't get me wrong, Dragon Ball had quite a few science fiction elements, but I enjoyed the mix of sci-fi and fantasy! Why take away the other?

How can anyone thing this guy is an alien?

Kids can do what?: This is also a minor problem, and that would be the children. No matter what arc of the story one is in, there NEEDS to be little kids. Why? Because kids can't relate to adults, that's why! That's what make Batman and Superman better; if they were kids!
Sarcasm aside, my sense of logic is thrown out the window when I see children around 7 years old easily fighting city-destroying monsters. Why? Because they were born to powerful parents and as we all know, skill is inherited. It's a nice message; if you weren't born under the right star, you have no hope of being as good as those who were.
Another thing that bothered me was at the end, Goku's granddaughter, a 4 year old, easily took down a 7 ft. tall bodybuilder. Now, either she was born with martial arts training inserted into her head or they basically groomed her into a cute little assassin...



Not sick at all.

Those are just the major problems. If I pointed out every minor problem, my blog post would be a mile long.
So, one must ask me, do I think Akira Toriyama is a bad writer and unworthy of his fame? To be perfectly honest, no, I don't think that. Along with Dragon Ball being a lot of fun, despite what I said about it, I've enjoyed many of Toriyama's short stories. I just happen to think DBZ is his weakest work. So, in short, I suggest you give Dragon Ball a try, but leave DBZ untouched.

XOXO,

Some guy

Dragon Ball Z

Salutations! Since I talked about Dragon Ball in the previous post, talking about the infamous Dragon Ball Z was unavoidable. Despite what I said about Dragon Ball, it was at least a fun read. This, my friends, is where all the fun gets sucked out. We have exited the park ride and entered the projectile vomitng. Metaphorically, of course
Ginger, anyone?

Now, for those familiar with the series, you're probably asking yourself, "What can this guy say that hasn't already been said?" Well, since I've read the manga and have not watched the anime, I shan't be talking about the constipation-slow fights or how entire episodes can be dedicated to a guy screaming.
ACTION-PACKED!


Now, I'm going to spoil a lot of things in the series, so if you have ANY interest at all to read DBZ, I suggest you stop reading. Right. Now.

For those not familiar with the series, I'll give you a briefing; It begins with the protagonist from Dragon Ball, Son Goku, now the world's greatest martial artist and all grown up, along with many of the other characters. Now, Goku is married to a woman named Chi-Chi (who he met in Dragon Ball, knowing her for a grand total of two days) and has a son named Gohan.

BUT THEN, a visitor named Raditz comes, revealing to Goku that he is his brother and that he's part of an ALIEN RACE called the Saiyans, sent to kill every earthling and sell the planet to other aliens! So, he kidnaps Gohan and Goku kills Raditz at the cost of his own life. HOWEVER, a new threat emerges, as the other Saiyans discover the death of Raditz and come to Earth to take matters in to their own hands. The other Saiyans consist of two men named Vegeta and Nappa, who are far superior in combat to Raditz, so it's up to Gohan to save the planet!
Awww, Raditz looks like a nice guy!

Or it would be, save for the fact that the author of the series, Akira Toriyama, thought fans would not like him killing Goku and replacing him with Gohan, so Toriyama decided it'd be best to bring him back to life. So, now it's up to Goku to save everyone from this huge threat! However, in order to defeat his fellow Saiyans, he must train harder!

Get the idea? Big threat is said to arrive. Goku and others train, the big threat arrives (who's so powerful, he can blow up the universe by farting) Goku is occupied and the others are forced to fight. Others hold him off pretty well, but then he reveals a 'true form'. True form is ALWAYS, visually, the least threatening and the smallest. Others get defeated by the true form. Gohan shows massive potential and, despite being 7, can easily hold off the true form. Goku arrives and enters fight, eventually defeating big threat.


Now that you understand that, allow me to tell you the first thing I hate about the series; That formula is what occupies the entire story, being used about four times throughout the series. In fact, the only one that's a little different is the first one, the Saiyan Battle! It's different in the fact that Goku falls during the battle and the others end up taking the Saiyan, Vegeta, down. Other than that, the other battles follow the same exact formula. So, the first thing I hate about the series? It's repetitive.
Which is boring.

Now, my friend, now that I've got the plot out of the way, allow me to pick apart what parts bothered me, personally!

Gohan: Here I was thinking that Goku was the boring, soulless Marty Stu in the story. Gohan beats him in that regard, no contest. Seriously, Goku at least had the flaw of being ignorant to the rest of the world and Gohan doesn't even have that. He's smarter than his daddy and has the pontential to be stronger than his daddy.Gohan SMASH!

Somehow, he has the potential to be more powerful than his father, being able to learn techniques at seven years old that Goku didn't even learn until he was in his late twenties. But you know what I don't get? Goku is more powerful than his allies because he's a Saiyan, a warrior race of aliens, right? And he married a human, right? Then, how do you explain why Gohan is supposed to be more powerful if he's only half-Saiyan? As in, that makes no sense! If you take booze and water it down, do you get stronger booze? No, you get much weaker booze! Therefore, if you put an inferior race into a race of warriors, you'll get a weak warrior.


Also, despite the fact that Goku's allies have trained alongside him for so long, Gohan is stronger than them, even as a child. Toriyama loves bruising his supporting character's egos, doesn't he? Some guy once explained to me on Youtube that Gohan is more powerful because he is a pacifist and somehow it charges him up and makes him more powerful... Which shows that people trying to defend this are idiots. By his logic, Ghandi could easily defeat Mike Tyson in a fight.Getting ready to kick some ass.

In short, I'm glad Gohan was rejected as the main character by Toriyama. I prefer Goku, the lesser of two evils.


Everyone is interesting but Goku and his family: Despite what I said about Goku and Gohan, Akira Toriyama is actually capable of making some interesting and flawed characters. For example, there is Piccolo Jr.; The final enemy of Dragon Ball, Piccolo Jr. was the son of Demon King Piccolo (later revealed to be an alien from the planet Namek), birthed for the sole purpose of killing Goku, born just as his father met his demise at the hands of Goku. During the events of DBZ, he stills holds onto his purpose of killing his rival. However, throughout much of the story, he's forced to join Goku to defeat a common foe. As a result of the many fights he endured alongside Goku and helping to train Gohan, he starts to go through many transformations, starting out as vengeful, then chaning to just being cold-hearted and finally, he ends up growing a soft spot for humanity.
Or then there's Vegeta! His story is similar to Piccolo's, only he's ten times more evil and a hundred times more insane! After his defeat to Goku, his pride as a Saiyan warrior basically took control of him. He cares for no one but himself and values his own pride above all else. Anyone who tries to get in the way of his ambitions will be crushed by him without even the slightest bit of hesitation.

Plus, he had one of the most badass lines I've ever heard; "My heart is pure... Pure evil!" Haha! Now, that was awesome!
But then, he later started to change. In the end, he started to care about people, such as the family he created on Earth (he married Bulma, FYI) and later even admitted that Goku was a worthy rival.
So, why couldn't these guys have been the main characters? They had flaws, they went through changes over time and, despite being aliens, they felt like real people. Goku and Gohan went through none of that. It saddens me when a writer shows he has abilities, but he doesn't use them.

Continued in part 2...

Introduction to Dragon Ball/Dragon Ball Z

Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z. What can I say about those two series'? I've been wanting to talk about them for a long time, but I know I'd have a lot to say about it. So, to prevent it from being too long-winded, I'm breaking it into two (possibly three) parts. Now, shall we dive in?

The plot of Dragon Ball revolves around a superhumanly strong little boy with a monkey tail named Son Goku. When he's found by a teenage girl named Bulma, he learns about the existence of magical orbs called "dragon balls", which, when gathered together, summon a powerful dragon named Shen Long, who grants the collecter of the balls a single wish. So, as you can guess, the two go on a quest to find them and make form allies with many unusual characters, which includes, but is not limited to...

... a Shaolin midget named Krillin...

... a bandit named Yamcha...

... and a transforming pig, Oolong.

The series, though, is not limited to the adventures of finding the dragon balls (especially considering that all of them are found by the second volume), as most of the series revolves around martial arts fights and tournaments or adventures that have nothing to do with the dragon balls.

Far as the artwork goes, it's actually pretty good; It's clean, appealing and has a unique cartoony style.

So, we have some fairly interesting characters, a not-so-bad plot and some good art. What's to complain about? Well, for the biggest problem, you need look no further than the first cover...

That's right, I speak of the main character, Son Goku. So, what do I hate about this obnoxious little bastard? He's booooooring! How does one make a monkey-tailed little boy with superhuman strength boring? Like any bad writer, you erase any trace of personality. Give him a "pure heart" (meaning, make it so he never sinned a day in his life).

Then, if you really wish to make the audience hate your character, bludgeon them constantly over the head with how special he is and how much better he is then you could ever be!

In short, Goku is a Marty Stu if I've ever met one. Why does he even have allies if they're not going to be as powerful or useful as he is? And I'm going to be honest; I don't throw around the word 'Marty Stu' often.

Also, his "pure heart." Having never sinned a day in his life basically means he has no flaws. Now, very few people don't know this, but; characters need flaws. And more importantly, they need their flaws to set them back a bit. Know why? Because it makes a character feel more human, which makes them easier to connect with. The reader will lose interest if he or she does not connect, you know? Then again, I suppose Goku DOES have flaws, but no one seems to notice or react like real people would, so it means not. Oh and if he has a "pure heart," then would someone explain to me something about the first thing he did in the series; Bulma parked her car a little too close to him and as a result, he flipped her car over and tried to kill her when she was about to fight back. Isn't attacking someone completely unprovoked count as something? A little something called 'Wrath'?

Pure heart!

Like I said, characters need flaws, but stop feeding me that "pure heart" bullshit.

But I digress. My comments so far have been a bit of a hyperbole, as Goku isn't an intolerable protagonist. He may not be a terribly complex character, but he's entertaining and can carry the story. He certainly would not ruin such a creative, fun and humorous series such as Dragon Ball. No, that's Dragon Ball Z's job! And that will be the subject for my next post. 'Til then, *salute*